The
CXT came up in conversation this weekend and I’ve just taken the time to peruse their website. I’d recommend looking it over. For those that choose not to, I’ll give you the highlights. Basically it is a luxury dump truck. Weighing 14,500 pounds it is over twice the legal weight limit for local roads, not unlike many SUV’s, though those mostly skirt the limit (for more on that read
this slate article, or
listen to it here if you have reading). It is uses diesel and hauls six tons, yet has a bed the size of an ordinary pickup truck, so I’m not sure it will ever actually do that.
For those of you that know my love of the ridiculous advertising and my hatred of cars, you will realize this is like a perfect storm of enjoyment for me. I’ve been perusing their website and selecting some of my favorite points, though, really everything about this vehicle is hilarious.
1) Their slogan, “The Brilliance of Common Sense ™” is the best doublespeak advertising slogan since “Fair and Balanced.” I can’t imagine who could think there is anything associated with common sense and this vehicle. Throughout their campaign they never again mention why this truck is sensible, which of course it isn’t, unless you plan on hauling a freight train around. And the owner of International trucks is even quoted saying, "Anybody can lease a Hummer now for $500 a month. Soccer moms are driving them," he said. "This is not a soccer mom's vehicle."
2) “… you get all the attributes of a commercial truck – but you don’t need a commercial driver’s license to drive it.*” The notation refers to the fact that in some states you do indeed need a commercial driver’s license in many states and to consult the driver’s manual. I have a feeling that the people who they are marketing this truck to aren’t the biggest fans of reading manuals (insert tool time grunts here, if you don’t know what Tool Time is, I wish I were you) and that the sales agent isn’t going to stress that point.
3) Also note their gif banner ad which says, “When you don’t have the garage space to rule the road… Rule your driveway.” I guess it’s cool to buy cars that won’t fit in your garage. Oh, I see after following
the link it is for marketing these as toys to children for sale at walmart… Shop by
gender: boy.
4) “Look down on the rest of the world” is how they describe the view. I imagine that will reach their target audience.
5) “The CXT is the workingman’s truck” The working man who wants a built in DVD player, leather seats, and has a at least 93,000 dollars to throw around. Then again, I bet the 93,000 model doesn’t come with the DVD.
6) “To say this truck is big seems to say very little.” Sounds almost like someone at the advertising agency don’t like the truck either.
7) The whole section “Attention-Getter & Showstopper” could be my favorite. I hate to simply reprint it, but every sentence is more hilarious than the last. I mean this is the real reason why one would buy this truck.
a. “Onlookers have been known to gawk at its style and gasp at its size.” Do you really gawk at style? I myself typically only gawk at EXTREMEly ridiculous things. You gasp out of surprise at utter foolishness.
b. “You could say it’s an Extreme Production Pickup Truck.” What does that mean. Does that mean that the International Truck and Engine Corp has gone EXTREME on us. Or does that mean that we can increase our productivity by owning this truck. I see they use this term again and are trying to create a new term involving extreme because SUV’s are too wussy.
c. “Whatever you call it the CXT leaves bystanders speechless.” It certainly hasn’t done that for me, but I bet if I see Bigfoot driving down my cul-de-sac, I would be.
d. “For drivers who want to make a statement, this is how to broadcast it.” I think we all know the statement that this car would make. For drivers who are desperate for attention this truck broadcasts your insecurity.
e. “Size, power and flash brought together to create the ultimate truck for extreme work or play.” EXTREME… too much is never enough… The brilliance of common sense tells me that extreme things happen rarely, and perhaps renting the truck for times when you need to move your mobile home would be better than buying one. I also like to imagine EXTREME playtime with this truck… It is the bed of a dumptruck, so what sort of EXTREME play can you to in that? Use your imagination for EXTREME play.
f. “Tricked out in color and chrome or any way you please, this truck is a show stopper.” They don’t seem to provide any options other than tricking it out in color and chrome. I don’t think it comes in a sensible beige.
g. “Better yet, the CXT is the show.” The freak show.
8) “Too much Truck. Yeah, Right.” Maybe I’m mistaken and you do need this much truck. Or maybe they are marketing this towards men to played with dump trucks as a child, have way too much money, and are trying to overcompensate for their shortcomings… Also, in the paragraph right after this statement, they go on to say that it, “may possibly be too much truck. (like that’s a problem.)” Your editor is the problem. I was all ready to be incredulous towards anyone who said I had too much truck… Then you tell me I may, but that it isn’t a problem. What’s next… That I have too much truck and it is a problem?
9) “Would you believe that an extreme production pickup truck has a softer side?” Softer side… what are you saying about my manhood? Oh, you mean leather seats and a DVD player… okay then.
10) “When you purchase a CXT, you’re not buying a truck; you’re making an investment.” In your ego. That thing is going to lose half its value when you drive it off the lot just like any other car.
Sweet jesus… I just discovered they have a family of these. They’re breeding… Look out for more detailed analysis of the MXT and RXT, which will certainly be equally EXTREME!
